Cheeseburger in paradise....

I think that the hardest part of living a healthy lifestyle is re-learning to eat.  I don’t mean chewing and swallowing.  I mean what to eat.  I love food!  I mean, let’s face it, it is very evident in how I look.  I grew up being able to eat chips, chocolate and junk without worry until I was 15 or 16.  By then, you have pretty much established your eating habits.

When I was a 20 something, (really NOT THAT long ago….*ahem*) as long as I worked out, I could pretty much eat whatever.  I had to make sure my “out-go” was more that my “in-take”.   I would grab a chocolate shake on the way to the gym, and then do 1 hr of cardio and a super hard hour long weight training session.  After I hit my 30’s…. OY VEY!!!!!!

When Steven deployed in 2010/11 I really just tried working out super hard.  When that only caused me to stay at the same size/weight or gain, I decided I needed to reevaluate my eating habits.  Once I started keeping a food journal I did NOT like what I was seeing about myself!  Once I started honestly counting calories I couldn’t believe the junk I was putting in my body!

Then I started thinking about the reasons I eat.  I often said I was hungry, but was I hungry?  Did I just want to put food in my mouth to satisfy a longing for the taste?  When I was mad?  EAT!  Sad? EAT!  Tired?  EAT! You get the idea. I thought, “What if I replaced my “cravings” and binge eating with things of God?  Hear me out.  I’m not talking about JUST scripture! 

What if I did more to fulfill my role as mom and wife?  What if I stepped up my effort at serving others?  What if when I wanted to eat a donut because I had a bad day, I write a note to a friend who is going through a hard time?  What if, when I am at my lowest, I talk to my creator and listen to His Word?   THIS is where I am now. 

For me, the hardest part of living a healthy lifestyle is learning how to feed my body the things it needs instead of feeding my face with what I WANT.  Soon those needs do become your wants, as well.  Well, let’s be honest!  I will NEVER want a salad instead of a brownie!  While an occasional brownie is probably ok, I start wanting to give my physical body the things it craves (fruits, veggies, etc.).  In turn I learn to feed my spiritual and mental body the things it craves (God’s Word, service, encouragement).  You get the idea!

I challenge you, and myself, too rethink those m&m’s (though they are SUPER tasty!!!!) and send someone a note of encouragement.  Find some encouraging words in Psalms!  That is where I am headed!

MIKESCHAIR - Let The Waters Rise

Whenever I think of the battles ahead of me, not just physical but spiritual and emotional, I think of this.  Lord, help me to follow Your path for my life.  Help me to have the courage to face what lies ahead.  Help me beat my depression.  Help my depression bring glory to You and You only.  You deliver me from the dark place inside day after day, and I praise you!

"There's a raging sea right in front of me.
It wants to pull me in, bring me to my knees.
So let the waters rise if You want them to;
I will follow You.  I will follow You...
You're in the eye of the storm and the calm of the sea,
You're never out of reach.
God you know where I've been; You were there with me then.
You were faithful before, and You'll be faithful again..."

The beginning is the hardest part!

               

               I weighed for the first time since “restarting” my journey, and I almost cried.  No really! I had to remind myself that I started 18lbs heavier the first time.  I’m ahead of the game!  In my mind, though, all I see is failure from gaining so much of what was lost back.  Sure I have a beautiful daughter as a reward, but it is so frustrating! 

                I want results, and I want them NOW!  Doubly frustrating, and if you know me you will giggle and shake your head as you read this part, I fell AGAIN yesterday.  My knee (yes, the same one!) is bruised and I have a little limp.  I’ve decided that I am one of 2 things: 1. I’m in the beginning stages of dementia. 2. My frame is way too large and heavy for my tiny feet to carry. 

                I know it sounds self-depreciating, and I don’t mean it to sound that way.  Facts are facts.  When a person is too heavy for their body to carry, they become clumsy, tired, lethargic, sore, etc.  I am all of the above!  I’m not ok with it, so this is why I am going to work hard to fix the problem.  I don’t want to just LOOK good.  I want to FEEL good! 

                When I lost weight before, I remember how embarrassing it was to walk across the pool deck.  I called it the “walk of shame”.  Things jiggled, my face turned red, my “bat wings” flapped… In retrospect, I am SURE no one even paid attention to me.  Besides, water aerobics was going on in the lanes next to me, and trust me; we could’ve fanned the entire country with all the “bat wing” flapping!  However, it took every ounce of courage I had to even put a suit on and walk across the pool deck.

                The end result (even though I never lost all the weight I wanted to) was that I felt more confident. I was much more sure-footed; I didn’t fall all the time! I was able to do walk up a flight of stairs without having to catch my breath! I could do things I never dreamed I would be able to do again!  I rafted without being overly winded or tired.  I did a zip-line!!!!  I know that this time I will accomplish all of those things and more!  I am going to put my head down, forget the scale, and just go for it. 

The Bible says: “Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies. “ 1 Cor. 6:18-20  I believe this means not just physical, but everything our whole body encompasses!  It is how we eat, what we drink, what we wear, what we say, what we do!

I want everything about my person to scream that God’s Holy Spirit lives inside of me.  It can’t happen if I am not feeding it well and taking care of it physically!  Most important, it can’t happen if I don’t saturate my mind with His word!  So, while I am frustrated at my starting line; I’m encouraged that I have a new beginning!  I know what the results will be, and I am going to remember that!

Two years ago, today, I said good-bye as my husband rode off for his second deployment.  I had a decision to make.  Do I sit at home and let myself worry and fret?  Do I get up and do something?  I chose to get up and do something!  I decided to set a goal.  I will lose at least 75lbs before he comes home in year! 

                I ALMOST met my goal.  I was a little disappointed, but how can you be upset when you lose 60lbs?  That’s how much my oldest child weighs.  That’s a whole person!!!!!  I worked really hard, and my focus went from worrying about my husband to bettering myself for WHEN he came home. 

                Today I am face with another decision.  I have to decide if I am going to allow another 6 years before I lose the baby weight, or will I get up and move?  I want to move!  I want to look back a year from now and say “Look at what I did.” I want to set a goal, focus on how to make it happen, and DO IT!

                While my main goal is to become closer to God this year, I feel that bettering my health will only help in facilitating that goal.  Hard work produces discipline.  Discipline can only make me closer in my walk with the Lord.  Besides, if I am not taking care of the “temple” He gave me, I am not honoring Him.  I want to honor Him in every way this year.

                OK, so here are the goals for this year.  Besides being AWESOME, I am aiming to lose (you guessed it) 75lbs.  I am aiming to participate in three 5k races.  I will read the Bible, the entire Bible, in 365 days.  I can do these things! In the end I will have a leaner body,  stronger relationship with God, and I will be able to wear all those clothes I wanted so bad on Zulily today!