The beginning is the hardest part!

               

               I weighed for the first time since “restarting” my journey, and I almost cried.  No really! I had to remind myself that I started 18lbs heavier the first time.  I’m ahead of the game!  In my mind, though, all I see is failure from gaining so much of what was lost back.  Sure I have a beautiful daughter as a reward, but it is so frustrating! 

                I want results, and I want them NOW!  Doubly frustrating, and if you know me you will giggle and shake your head as you read this part, I fell AGAIN yesterday.  My knee (yes, the same one!) is bruised and I have a little limp.  I’ve decided that I am one of 2 things: 1. I’m in the beginning stages of dementia. 2. My frame is way too large and heavy for my tiny feet to carry. 

                I know it sounds self-depreciating, and I don’t mean it to sound that way.  Facts are facts.  When a person is too heavy for their body to carry, they become clumsy, tired, lethargic, sore, etc.  I am all of the above!  I’m not ok with it, so this is why I am going to work hard to fix the problem.  I don’t want to just LOOK good.  I want to FEEL good! 

                When I lost weight before, I remember how embarrassing it was to walk across the pool deck.  I called it the “walk of shame”.  Things jiggled, my face turned red, my “bat wings” flapped… In retrospect, I am SURE no one even paid attention to me.  Besides, water aerobics was going on in the lanes next to me, and trust me; we could’ve fanned the entire country with all the “bat wing” flapping!  However, it took every ounce of courage I had to even put a suit on and walk across the pool deck.

                The end result (even though I never lost all the weight I wanted to) was that I felt more confident. I was much more sure-footed; I didn’t fall all the time! I was able to do walk up a flight of stairs without having to catch my breath! I could do things I never dreamed I would be able to do again!  I rafted without being overly winded or tired.  I did a zip-line!!!!  I know that this time I will accomplish all of those things and more!  I am going to put my head down, forget the scale, and just go for it. 

The Bible says: “Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies. “ 1 Cor. 6:18-20  I believe this means not just physical, but everything our whole body encompasses!  It is how we eat, what we drink, what we wear, what we say, what we do!

I want everything about my person to scream that God’s Holy Spirit lives inside of me.  It can’t happen if I am not feeding it well and taking care of it physically!  Most important, it can’t happen if I don’t saturate my mind with His word!  So, while I am frustrated at my starting line; I’m encouraged that I have a new beginning!  I know what the results will be, and I am going to remember that!